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Victory Speech photo

I want a take a moment to thank all my sponsors. Without them I wouldn’t have been able to pursue my dream. (pause for applause) I feel fortunate that I am one of the few, very few, people who get to pursue their dream. I feel blessed. I thank God with a capital G for my success. I thank all of my people, too. Without my mother I would not have been born. Without my father I would not have had the mother I did. Without my sister I’d be an only child, and we know what they are like. (pause for laughter) Without my friends I would not have had friendship and without friendship life is a field too hard for the plow. (pause for applause) I have to also thank my teachers for unflagging dedication to their profession despite poor pay and scant respect. Summers off are all they have to hold their heads high. That and educating kids, or rather turning idiots into productive members of society. Without them imagine the next generation. (pause for applause) I also want to thank the big lady at the Tim Hortons drive-through on Mcleod in Niagara Falls who served me coffee almost every morning for seven years and never once acknowledged that she recognized me. She taught me that people are capable of incredible leaps of the imagination, deft feats, dazzling obduracy, and ignorance verging on genius. I salute her for remaining herself despite the ravages of time and the pathological monotony of her existence. (pause for applause) I also want to thank my ex-wife, who taught me that meanness has no limits—that, like the universe, it continues to astonish us, and continues to expand. (acknowledge applause

image: Aaron Burch


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