This is the Santa crushing it on Etsy.
This is the Santa denied unemployment.
This is the Santa whose Zoom background brought his therapist to tears.
This Santa doesn’t give a shit—he’s a superspreader event.
This is the Santa who responds to every comment.
This Santa’s lap will never be peed on again.
This Santa is healing her microbiome.
This is the Santa sewing masks—they’re actually not bad.
This is the Santa selling reindeer jerky.
This Santa leaned in.
This is the Santa who wanted out anyway.
This is Santa finally shorn.
This Santa’s seen things.
This is goth Santa.
These Santas unionized.
This is the Santa bingeing poinsettias.
This is the Santa suckered in.
This is the Santa who does his own research.
This is the Santa who died for your freedom.
This is the Santa we forgot.
