I went in every Manhattan bookstore looking for The Cows by Lydia Davis.

'Let's all go down to the river' I said...

Lippens, like most writers and artists in general, occupies this space slightly distanced from the commotion of the world.

I can’t read in Farsi but I taught him how to say kiss, my flower, small, my heart and now the florists know

I wanted to feel like a domestic woman, like the kind of woman who made salmon and vegetables before going out. Then I was that woman because I’d tried to be her.

[The names of certain parties have been changed. Other names were never known and are now lost in time.]

I get maudlin and nostalgic over the Christmas holidays, mostly for a past version of

I wash the semen off of my hands in the pool.

It is a widely known fact that Arledge created Monday Night Football in conjunction with the American Suicide Watch as a way to stymie a flood of Monday night suicides.

Foreshadowing!

In 1902, he finally cut off his own penis with a small knife that he'd managed to smuggle into his cell.

Video surveillance is for your safety 

I lost my thought and now I can't do anything but listen 

Writing is only anything if you can sublimate or depreciate the original thing into a

They say you shouldn’t feed the trolls, but trolls are an essential component of the culture.

I think sometimes what people mean by “likable” as opposed to sympathetic or goodhearted is “conforming to my idea of what behavior I should aspire to.”

It should be noted that I really love to eat pussy.

I think outside of drinking himself to death, Fitzgerald had a pretty fantastic life.

The best futures are the ones that never come.

I just told you about the time I met Burt Reynolds.

You: I can't live in a world where seventy-five percent of anything is perfect.

Maybe I was smoking all wrong, but it appeared that I needed another smoke.

Bird heart

I was hiking the canyons alone when a mountain lion appeared on the path in front of me. Needless to say I was surprised. I had never seen a mountain lion in the wild before, so you