do & don’t
what i do & don’t remember
from seven years of getting wine drunk
crying on the couch
& burying myself alive
six drinks deep
beneath fields of indica
white lotus & the merciful kiss
of sleep, i do
remember the light
on your face
when you did a cartwheel
down the hallway
of our old apartment, shitfaced
forgetting all the ghosts of decisions
we welcomed through the front door
into our kitchen, our bedroom, our prisons
narcissistic industrial guilt complex
your sister tried
to drown me
she conducted some
freak show narcissistic
industrial guilt complex
i can’t believe
i used to believe
this was my fault.
dead to me
i
had boxes inside
of boxes. halls
of mirrors all
over myself to
hide from the
real me.
hiii here have some dopamine
here it is!
hi
hello
i am thinking about you
and hope that your uterus
ceases its mutiny
IMMEDIATELY!
and that your brain
and your soul
choose
to be
kinder
to you
musings on peace
motherhood brings realizations
into flesh and blood
having 2 toddlers & a baby
can be chaotic & messy,
turbulent, really
take a step back
my mother used to say
your space will always be a mess
& cluttered if the inner rooms
in your head are cluttered
