Greek Yogurt

my daughter and I were watching TV
it was some show where a group of overweight women
lose a bunch of weight and wear bikinis in front
of their families and significant others for the first time
to show off their new bodies
it was very emotional because the women worked really hard
over a period of sixteen weeks
so my daughter and I were pretty invested

when my husband entered the room
he proclaimed unprompted and
to no one in particular 
that if given the choice
he would not fuck any of the women on the screen
and suddenly
my daugther and I were no longer interested

we turned off the TV and went
and got greek yogurt
instead

Ellen Degeneres Poem

Today while I am at work

my cubicle mate is watching Ellen Degeneres 
in the break room while eating instant noodles

I try to get a soda from the vending machine
but the can gets stuck on its way down

On the TV above us

Ellen is giving a record deal to the deaf child with a beautiful voice
She is sending the war stricken Nigerian family a Mazda Minivan

the crowd is fucking loving it
they're eating it all up,

they're screaming and crying and going home
with complimentary gift bags worth more than my salary

And I am sitting down here
Below the harsh glow of the television screen

With a pocket full of change
feeding a machine that doesn't work

and for a moment I think Ellen Degeneres can see it all
like she's some sort of God

the answer to every problem that plagues me
I think and my eyes begin to water

then my cubicle mate takes a loud slurp of his cup of noodles
And I snap out of it

I bang my knee against the vending machine
And finally my can of Sprite falls out

I go back to work