To hack through the tail of a porpoise and free him from your gillnet, you’ve really got to have a strong steady hand. You've really got to try and find your faith. You've really got to say to yourself: If Jesus was still a gillnetter, what would he do? And he’d probably be all like, damn, bruh, y'all still don't have nothing better than a machete for this kind of shit? That's old school. And you’d be all like, damn, Jesus, I feel that. And he'd be all, this reminds me of back in the day, on the Sea of Galilee, when I was telling Peter to quit his bitching and keep grinding. And you’d be all, but do you see all this blood, do you even see it, Jesus? Why are you doing this to me? And he'd say, Paul, he'd say Paul, your life is cake. You have hydraulics, a combustion engine, Tinder. Peter didn’t have none of that. And I'm sorry anyway, man. I'm sorry I put that porpoise in your net. I really am. And I'm sorry I made you imperfect and killed your sister and will one day take everyone you love before I take you. But I gotta test you. And you’d be all like, damn, Jesus, no need to get Old Testament, because there is just sooo much blood and that's all I can really focus on right now. Hacking. Up. Porpoises. And he'd say, just finish and bury it, man. That’s the best advice I can give you. Just bury that porpoise at sea and move on. Because you can't quit. You remember Castaway? How I stranded Tom Hanks on that island for four years? And all I gave him was a god damn (excuse my language) volleyball and a cave. Tom Hanks. And you don’t think he wanted to quit? When things feel really hopeless like they do now, you've just gotta say to yourself: Tom Hanks. Tom Hanks. And you’d say, okay. You’d throw the rest of the porpoise over the gunwale, watch the bloody trunk disappear in white caps. And you’d say okay, Jesus. I’m gonna trust you on this one. Even if it feels like sometimes my whole life is just one stranded on an island with a volleyball situation after another, like everything is a trial by porpoise blood, I'll try. I'll try and have faith: Tom Hanks. Tom Hanks.
Paul Vega is an editor for Pacifica Literary Review and received his MFA from the University of Washington. His work appears in CutBank, The Collagist, BULL: Men's Fiction, The James Franco Review, The Portland Review and elsewhere.
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