Things I Write//Autofiction Trapped in My Gut

bastardized algebra
fortune cookies
beer-drunk DMs to all the bots

Mcdonald’s order into the app. bring me the
nervermore, i scream. XL side of pictures
black letter tundra, the most barbaric honeymoon
driving around looking for parking in Jersey City and rising
three day dead
just under cathedral ceilings. scratching. wake up cold. wondering
is this what love feels like, how they say you know.

i’ll write movies about when you got out in the
tunnel to silence me, white-knuckled banshee. farshee. ran under
the river. my flagrant mermaid.

i write a thousand little songs
in my head when the edibles
kick in and i’m young again. like i don’t give a fuck,
so i sing.

notes to myself
about cities i
have to visit
before we die. then i go back to bed.

Weekend

Snow one night, morning summer gunfire into
my sidespins. Pour me some routine. Run me
like a sled dog. Something happened somewhere so we’re
howling. Turn all the lights but the TV and
me, scrolling to learn the world.

Oh god I’m getting so dumb

Come find me
Spotify says I’m having a
Frat Hot Vampire Party Rap Evening. Where
is it. I’m just scared on a couch

I miss when music was CDs and exclusion
Sing to someone for me
I wore a ring and fell somewhere shocking

tuesday night, wednesday morning

in one room
& you’re in another.

coyotes marauding in
waves of slaughter & i’m
jealous of the way
they storm the city with their squad—
blitzkrieg untethered. nightingale somewhere,
she promised. cloaked in felt blanket night.

tell me to come
back to bed.

i’m naked chugging OJ
at the fridge. let me
hear it.

leash me. wake me.

younger than you’ve ever been. O how
i feel like dying.

O how the fridge light
bleeds out the led cape sleep. bliss out
the harsh outrage benzo cloak.

O how the night won’t end or leave. just
wait. wander back in tomorrow.