MONUMENT
YOU SPECIFY IN YOUR LAST WILL AND TESTAMENT “BURY ME WHERE I STAND” SO THEY REMOVE A CHUNK OF TILES FROM THE FLOOR IN FRONT OF THE GOLDEN PANTRY’S CHECKOUT COUNTER AND THEY SET YOUR FEET AND THE BOTTOMS OF YOUR SHINS IN THE DIRT BELOW
THE REST OF YOU SNAPS AND IS REMOVED
THE TILES ARE REPLACED AFTER THE STUMPS ARE SHORTENED
IT IS LIGHT WIND SEASON, SWAYING TREE SEASON
SOMEWHERE SOMEONE IS WATCHING THE SURVEILLANCE FOOTAGE OF YOUR LIFE, TRYING TO FIND THE MOMENT WHERE
WE DROP AN EGG IN THE PAN AND IT STICKS AND BLOSSOMS AND BURNS AND CANNOT BE SCRAPED OFF
YOU BEGIN TO FEEL THAT ADULTHOOD MUST PRECEDE CHILDHOOD
I ARRIVE TO MEET YOU BUT THE MANAGER OF THE GOLDEN PANTRY HAS ALREADY REPLACED THE TILES
I CHECK THE DUMPSTER OUT BACK BUT YOU ARE NOT THERE
I CHECK THE WOODS BEHIND THE DUMPSTER
I CRAWL THROUGH MANY OBSTACLES: NETTLE AND BRIARS AND BARBED WIRES
I FIND A NEIGHBORHOOD WHICH I ENTER THROUGH A BACKYARD, NEARLY TRIPPING ON A DOG’S CHAIN, NEARLY FALLING INTO A COVERED POOL’S PUDDLE IN WHICH MOSQUITOS BREED
THE MOSQUITOS BELIEVE THAT LIFE IS INFINITE AND SO THEY SAIL AS NEAR TO THE SUN AS THEY CAN MANAGE BEFORE RETURNING
THEY RETURN TO MAKE HOLES IN US
AND TO MAKE NEW MOSQUITOS AS IF TO MAKE NEW CLOUDS
THEY RETURN TO MAKE HOLES IN US
LATE ONE NIGHT YOU ASK ME, “do you think mosquitos make holes that they love? holes that they hope to one day return to?”
I FONDLY REMEMBER NIGHTLIGHTS ESPECIALLY WHEN SICK
I MOVE BEYOND THE POOL AND BETWEEN TWO HOUSES TO A FOREGROUND TO HOW PEOPLE HAVE BECOME HIDDEN
I FEEL YOU MUST BE NEAR THOUGH I KNOW YOU ARE NOT
I TAP MY CELL PHONE IN THE STREET TO SEE WHERE I AM
I AM NEVER LOST I SET THE DIRECTIONS TO WALK HOME UNTIL I KNOW WHERE I AM AND I AM STEERED AWAY FROM THE BRAMBLE AND THE BRIAR
I PASS A DOG BEING WALKED BY A WOMAN
WE CLAIM OUR SIDES OF THE STREET AND SAY HELLO
SHE SAYS NICE NIGHT I SAY I KNOW
YOU SAY OK AND THE WORLD SAYS I KNOW
THEY SAY MOSQUITOS WILL EAT YOU ALIVE
YOU SAY THAT’S OK THEY NEED ME ALIVE
YOU LIGHT THE CITRONELLA
A DAY AFTER SPRAYING THE BACKYARD WITH PESTICIDES WE DISCOVER THE CORPSES OF INSECTS WE NEVER KNEW EXISTED
THAT SAME DAY YOU WATCH A STUDENT PERFORM A BING IMAGE SEARCH FOR “holocaust gas chambers” WHICH PRODUCES PICTURES OF EMPTY STONE ROOMS
"I bet that shit haunted as fuck," HE SAYS
WE WAIT FOR A MOMENT WHEN IT IS OK TO CELEBRATE
BUT WE CAN’T WAIT
WE ARE DRUNK ALL THE TIME, REGARDLESS
WHY ELSE WOULD WE LET THE TREES GROW SO CROOKED?
WE ARE CAREFUL NOT TO APPLY TOO MUCH CAUTION TO ANY SITUATION
YOU BREAK YOUR TOE BENEATH THE SHUTTING OF THE DOOR
YOU MUST EXPLAIN YOUR BROKENNESS TO THE WORLD
I GIVE YOU A HUG AFTER RECEIVING AN ELECTRIC SHOCK FROM THE WATER HEATER
BY THE TIME WE CELEBRATE THE ELECTRICITY IS ALREADY GONE
WE HAVE BEEN CELEBRATING FOR YEARS
WE LOVE TO CELEBRATE WITH OUR CITY, WHICH IS NEW TO US
WE ARE LEARNING TO CELEBRATE AS THEY CELEBRATE
YOU LIGHT THE CITRONELLA, LET THE MOSQUITOS FIGHT THE FLAME TO FEAST