When his heart is an ashtray—cigarette butts put out on a surface that will not flinch

why does it feel so much harder to see something happen to someone else than have it happen to you?

What author’s (dead or alive) persona is aspirational? 
Maybe Joan Didion, the super thin wrists, the iconic image on a tote bag. I just want to keep on writing books. 

nature doesn't give a shit about what I want

She buys us both mineral waters from the MoMA cafe.

Beckett throws another party

I think a lot about Annie Ernaux saying that she writes like she's going to die afterward. The principle works for all kinds of writing, not just autofiction—it's an urgency that makes the voice more electric, that drives you to completion, that's more honest because it has no concern for consequences.

Only the best of girls get to play fantasy football and today, that’s me.

But she didn’t delete the video. Instead, she posted it on TikTok.

I guess there is a measure of wish fulfillment in the detail of my description of Anna and Tom’s apartment. Sometimes I ask myself if this makes the arc of the novel a kind of revenge fantasy.

Harry forgot the rest of last night’s monologue, and just saw the crowd laughing. Applause was okay if it was accompanied by laughter, he just didn’t want to ask for claps. But laughs? In this world, people need to laugh.

This story’s about a trip. It’s a strange word. Trip. As a noun, it means a journey or excursion, going somewhere and returning, especially for pleasure, or to stumble or fall. It’s also the word used

written in the season of cattle mutilation

Cake Zine Volume 6

I feel sexy / as a sheared sheep 

A part whore/part homely crowd crowdpleaser 

I wondered if ingenue had any etymological roots to engineer in Russian, which sounds the same as ingenue in English, and also wondered if Mikhail would sleep next to me again if I asked him to.

A hyper-masculine man with politics that are probably messy and a bio that says NO FATS NO FEMS but then why does he smile every time he calls me his baby girl? 

It was cold out.

He never did meet the kid.

He arrived in the city with an STD.

There’s more than one way to conquer & that’s to be conquered.