I can hear desire in violence

at home, I apply baby wipes to your counters
lusting at the way my own face can behave
like an abstract parable
how my plants grow bigger + drool

I stir the acidic coffee
and cry to a blink-182 song,
figurative, bejeweled veil
stretched across a softened + desperate place

in response I cultivate fragility-based practices~

cum-graced ugg boots

a verse for which I am willing to wait

intimacy and how to plan for it

watching shia labeouf in #allmymovies,
in which a camera films shia labeouf in a theatre,
watching shia labeouf watch all his movies,
I think about how the flashes bouncing back from selfies seem really ‘cinematic’
and how shia labeouf seems very alaskan
alaskan with hard fists, and lonely

he has paid to leave tattoos on himself in various places
now he builds a sweatshirt cocoon and looks sad

suddenly I know now, not to care about control, or anything really
because shia labeouf has ‘everything’
and I think shia labeouf is depressed 

during many points, people shake both his hands and then use him for selfies
they enjoy finding in themselves that hard novelty that shia so effortlessly carries

that sense of efficiency being hard to pass up
celebrity novelty, novelty selfie

I am watching him in my own bum sweatshirt
from where I live with someone who perpetuates a kind of abuse
and I often feel sad

which is a formula for how to bridge the gap
between you & me
and so now you should like me
I hope that you like me <3

after yet another flash and a handshake
shia labeouf looks down for a very long time

I think about how I should maybe go down to the kitchen
how I should maybe make my attempt at a nice conversation

I look at shia labeouf’s face again and then I think ‘nah’