i am your man

tall stranger man
you have sung a lot of songs 
you fall in love often
and maybe
you lose some things along the way
but everything is all right
and none of this matters anymore 
really nothing matters 
no really
well some things do
your mother calls you 
she has something to tell you
when you die you don’t really die
because nothing can really die
because part of you lives on forever in everyone
and the part that lives on is called the soul 
this is not something you haven’t heard of
you already know about this
but she tells you anyways
she tells you while she is in the bathroom with your father at the jewish community center and you hear peeing sounds and she is dying and you are laughing and it is all so strange and maybe you want to cry
you tell me this story in a bar later
in the back of the bar where it is dark 
and the music is so loud and no one can hear us anymore
i watched my grandmother die in a bed
i asked her if she was scared and she laughed the loudest laugh i had ever heard
i don’t know much about death or dying except that we all do it
we are even doing it right now
watch
but
i have also loved people 
i have also lost some things
i am always worried about losing a tampon inside my body and going into anaphylactic shock and dying ever since i read about how that could happen to me in YM magazine when i was thirteen
so now whenever i am on my period i am constantly checking and making sure i have removed all tampons from my vagina before inserting another one 
but 
let me tell you
let me tell you 
i have been calling your name
i have been calling your name 
for so goddamn long
over and over 
i am your man 
you are my stranger and i am your man
i am calling your name
i am here to tell you 
everything is okay

coffee

i touched your arm
you kissed my head
what time of day do you like to poop? you asked
the time of day that you leave, i said

stay

the dogs fucked all night long
we ordered chinese food
there were noodles
covered in soy sauce
are you turned on?
you took my food away
maybe you wanted to save some
for later
i always thought that was a weird move
do you remember this
this was back when you disappeared
often
here we are
hey, where are you going now