women
women make up things like
“i don’t know how to go cross eyed”
so you can share a special moment
together
--
opening up
shirting and buttons come together
in their opposite ways
so we can undress each other
that is the only possible reason
everything else is not worth thinking about right now
--
it is pretty great being a dude
when you are a child
the nice lady at the grocery store gives you hugs, she
mushes her giant tits into your head
--
sunday school
according to some, no unicorns were on noah’s ark
also, there were no unicorns on earth
others say noah’s ark probably never existed
really only one unicorn was found
instead of a male, noah’s lackeys found a deer and painted it white
noah breaks off an antler
“the same thing, no?” says noah
--
song of worship
yeah
yeah
oh yeah
yes oh my god
yes
just like that
i am
i am oh my god
yes
god
oh my god
--
if i was a poet
i would not forgo the way the words sound
for what they mean
or worry about contractions
so goddamn often
i want to kill myself
--
familiar childhood breathlessness
the first relationship i had as an adult saying
“i love you” goodnights and kisses awake
the first time i get hit as hard as she could
in my solar plexus, with the back of her wrist
after i laugh at a guy on an electric scooter
whizzing by us on the sidewalk in denver
helps me love being alone
--
keeping the cat away with my elbow because he wants the deli ham resting on the laptop trackpad
i am not a big picture person
i prefer going word to word
future things approach, worry me, it
does not matter, good or bad, i will somehow
make you, physically, hold my thoughts
after “where do you see yourself ten years
from now?” i will not know
i would rather be sure of the next few minutes
before we start talking years, right now, i think
i will put my headphones on and drink another beer, maybe
give the cat some ham and
type bullshit like this
--
i wish more people knew about the baseball player ty cobb because he would sharpen the spikes of his cleats and slide with them pointed at the baseman and a guy like that is a guy you want on your team
once again i feel upset
the point of most conversation
is not the conversation itself
--
a poet may feel suffocated when their personal space is violated and will often take actions to avoid this feeling
a central conflict of the poet exists between an immense longing for relationships but a deep anxiety and avoidance of relationships, manifested by the choosing of the "lesser evil" of abandoning others
a person writing poetry is often able to pursue fantasies via the internet while remaining completely unengaged with the outside world
a 2020 study looking at poets and internet use found that being online predicted signs of wanting to write poetry and, additionally, that poetry correlated with lower phone usage and the deletion of facebook
a study which looked at the body mass index of a sample of male adolescents diagnosed as writing poetry found that the BMI of all patients was significantly below normal
some poets only eat when alone and refuse to eat out
it has been suggested that poets may not feel hunger as strongly as others or not respond to it as a form of a withdrawal from the self
a person who writes poetry tends to be happiest in a relationship in which their partner places few emotional or intimate demands on them and does not expect phatic or social niceties
it is not people that the poet wants to avoid, but emotional expectations, intimacy and self-disclosure
a person who writes poetry seems comfortable with their aloof lifestyle and considers themself an observer (rather than participant) in the world around them
impairment is mandatory for any behavior to be diagnosed as a disorder and poetry seems to satisfy this criterion because it is linked to negative outcomes: a significantly compromised quality of life, reduced overall functioning after even just 5 years of writing and one of the lowest levels of "life success" of all disorders (measured as "status, wealth and successful relationships")
a poet recognizes themself as socially deviant/defective when confronted with the lives of normal people or when they read books or see movies focusing on relationships
even though a poet may not outwardly long for closeness, they can become weary of “being on the outside, looking in"
poetry is uncommon in modern clinical settings and occurs more commonly in males. its incidence is relatively rare when compared with other disorders
a poet often experiences feeling "like a robot" or "going through life in a dream"
poet personality types often lack the ability to assess the impact of their own actions or words
--
kneel on the salt
saying you will not do it again only incites rage
stop crying
you sound like a liar you
try to stop the punishment and
this means you must be punished more
--
if you look up “how to tie a noose” on march 27, 2020
the first thing that pops up is “help is available” with
a phone number to call
then 3,370,000 ways to tie a noose
--
angry at the dead
i wanted to give you a hug
you stupid bitch
you knew when i was joking
you supportive
lovely
stupid bitch
i tell the liquor store cashier
one of my friends died
she gives me a discount
i tell her i do not have many friends
the employee discount, she says
i drink in the parking lot
i sit in my car
i drive home
who cares
you are gone
you should not be
you stupid bitch
--
woke up drunk
i can not stop thinking about the dead
still alive, peering at us
from way up, reclined on clouds
postureless
from over a book
she smiles, she
returns to reading
--
eris
a senior in your english class
who never cared about her grades
sits next to you, you write down a joke
you tap your notebook, point at your words,
she giggles
you gain a bit of confidence
--
gentle people
if you are going to san francisco
be sure to put no flowers in your car
do not put anything in your car
or it will have its windows smashed
even if you put nothing in your car
it will have its windows smashed
fuck you
this is san francisco
i am taking your flowers
to put in my hair
--
lettuce
if holding up a plate and announcing
“this way i die slower” shouldn’t expect applause
then don’t forget that a cold hot dog isn’t a cold dog
or the feeling of food in the fridge
