Total Noam Cunus
I moved my arms out from under my arms
And took it all away
From him
And her
The cunts
Oh, it was ironic!
I was filled with nothing
But hatred
And love
And love for the hatred I felt
Deep in my heart
No my brain, everything the brain
I hate it
I can’t know myself in any way
I can’t take myself to be the one
Dizzy in my understanding
Of the torn-out sunk ship
That wasted its women for nothing
For nothing
For nothing
For nothing
I am not a predator
I have not predated
I am not a scholar
I have not menstruated
I am not a person
I have not contemp
Lated
Dated
Rated
Or considered anyone
And eventually I was gone licked up
By my mother
When I did the famous tribal awakening thing
It didn’t work
When I did myself
It did
That’s cunus for you
All gone anyway
I could have killed her
Don’t know what’s wrong with me
That’s what she told me
Apparently this man sexually assaulted his wife’s daughter
Why did she tell me that?
Oh well
Only five years old
I heard it just today
Only a day to take
It away from silent
Lake toward horror
Shake off my silent
Silence heart I take
Your space in mine
Mind mind mind
Steering towards the lime
In the works we work ourselves
To death death death
If you can’t take me
You won’t have me
If you can’t make me
You won’t save me
Hope it’s not too far off
From this, noam
Gnome away
Wittled down
To noamnub
Loamsub
Foamrub
I take you, I make you
Mine alone created
The wasted under
Basted, shear me
Shear me
I am wondering why I
Can’t do what
I wish I
So
Noamus
I love you so much. I don’t know you.
I love you so much. I’m crying.
I don’t really do the formatting thing
With poems.
I just do lines and
Stanzas.
I love you, Noam. I don’t know you.
Is this about me? I really think I’ll cry.
I wish I was with you. I wish you were with me.
Just in like a friendly way.
I want to be friends. With
Everyone. It feels like that’s what’s
Happening here. In
This poem.
Your
Poem
I
Mean
I’ve tried
To connect with people.
Deeply, through creating,
Through writing.
I don’t know if it works.
Are we friends now? The desperation
Is just something I feel.
Is this a suicide?
This desperation.
I’m always so lonely even
When I’m not.
I have lots of friends, I think.
I don’t know.
I Peel Noam
I peel nothing
For no one
I cradle curdled into
A loam
It’s noam
I’m foam-noam now
Wow, how does it go? Can you
Tell me? Please?
I don’t have any poison in me
Not anymore
I mean, not that I don’t put out.
I have poison in me
I bite!
I take!
I make & create
I cater to you as you
Crater me
In your head
As something other than what I am.
That’s how it always goes. And I
Didn’t know. It
Is so wasteful full filled sloshing tipping
Over with fear.
Done with it.
When you
Said what you said about it,
About me,
I didn’t know what to do.
It’s different again.
I’m changing
Now. Noam
I have developed an awareness
Of my need to perform this fervor
And what I thought was fear
Turned out to be excitement.
When I thought then & there before where
I shivered and shook and didn’t know
What to say
It turns out I need them all only
Look my way…
Beefeater Lives
Christian: Hi Beefeater.
Beefeater: Hi Christian.
Beefeater, mustachioed, with a hat to hide his embarrassingly tiny horns, looks at him wide-eyed, slightly fried, since he’s been up all night waiting
for this moment. He’s brought the fruit basket along with him, and Christian is eyeing it.
Christian: It’s a shame.
Beefeater: What?
I am filled with shame! Oh misery, misery! I pity thee, Beefeater. Why couldn’t you have come then once to see me, before before, when I needed you most. When I was then that tainted host — your desires, your sorrows, I’d eat them away. I’d make them my own. Oh, Beefy — so brash and bold! I wish I could hold you and make you my own….
Christian: Oh nothing, I’m just not in the mood for fruit right now.
Beefeater: Oh.
