if i say 'i am sorry' to so-and-so only to be met with a 'so' as in 'how does it matter now' and i say 'i am so sorry' and the so-and-so says 'are you serious' to which i say 'i think so' but think 'what to say now' when the so-and-so says 'it feels good to sort things out' and i say 'so' to which the so-and-so says 'how are things' and i sort of say 'you know' hoping the so-and-so knows what it feels like to say 'i am sorry' and then 'i am so sorry' to so-and-so who likes meeting 'i am sorry' with 'so' as in 'so what now' when the so-and-so says something like 'so what now' and i say 'i am sorry' hoping the so-and-so will repeat what sounded like 'so what now' but the so-and-so says 'are you sorrying again' and i say 'what' and the so-and-so says 'what do you mean by what' and i know i must say nothing instead i say 'nothing' thinking it is better to be safe than sorry but the damage is already done, something stirs in the so-and-so and the so-and-so soon turns into the 'something', i can see it see the so-and-so turn into something else and i say 'when i said nothing what i meant was nothing' and the so-and-so goes 'what the—' and i say 'you are mistaken' and the so-and-so says 'so now i am mistaken' and i say 'yes no' when the so-and-so says 'i must have listened to her' to which i say 'what did she tell you' and the so-and-so says ‘remember the time she made us couscous’ and i say ‘that was a while ago’ and the so-and-so says ‘so you think’ and i say ‘does it matter now’ to which the so-and-so says ‘we were the same’ and i say ‘we are’ but the so-and-so says ‘to her, we were’ and the so-and-so says ‘and to me’ and the so-and-so says ‘you and me, we were the same’ and the so-and-so says ‘but that was not how you saw it’ and the so-and-so says ‘the next time i met her’ and the so-and-so says ‘you made us stand on either side of a line’ and the so-and-so says ‘a line you had drawn, perfected’ and the so-and-so says ‘a line you said was consistent’ and the so-and-so says ‘in thickness’ and i say ‘i did not stop her’ and the so-and-so says ‘she spoke to me’ and i know i must say nothing instead i say ‘so what did she say’ and the so-and-so says 'that i should avoid talking to so-and-so'