cloud #5
I asked about how dinner was
But not from where
Or David or your brother or
What about your relationship
With the Baptist church and
What’s it all like in Detroit
I want to hear
A bedtime story without me
Begging for you
To turn the page
In such an open book
You say you are
Too busy
For me
Too bad
The last man I let fuck me with
Dirty fingernails said to me
I intimidate men
With my intensity
Please don’t be scared of me
I knows not what I do
I can’t even piss outside
Like you
I am not a dog
Just a girl who likes to bark
At every hand raised and cries
I do everything wrong
Still
You were the worst sex I’ve ever had
Fully clothed
I struggled to fight
My legs over your shoulders
In 5-maybe minutes of missionary
So maybe you should’ve stayed in church longer
I miss dry humping
Innocence
I wish I could go back to
Faking
My period because I was unshaved
And ashamed
But your silence is purgatory
And I love the in-between
Torture
Of the morning
Hangover weaning itself
Off of you
Every time I see you I knows
It’s the last time
cloud #6
I just want you to reckon with me
As an equal but I know
That’s too much to ask
A man or a boy I expect to be
Disappointed by
This same wound I suck dry
As soon as it bleeds
Until it bleeds again
My satisfaction is just as fleeting
As bad sex
And bad dates
And bad food
Though its always the worst
When I’ve paid for it
With my money
A body is also
A currency
Like my time
And my sanity
And my dignity
I used my first words to yell
At the cat
Puking on the floor of a room
That isn’t mine
Neither is the cat
Neither is the floor
Neither is any of it
There is no most
I don’t even know if there is mine
cloud #10
It took me too long to realize
I was your hooker without getting paid
When posed with mathematical equations
I pronounce my English major
Laughing
Like I’m incapable
Of understanding
What is right and wrong
On one side of the equal sign
I was trained
To believe
Whatever
You see
I am still sixteen years old
Bragging about being fuckable
Enough to tease my teacher
You’ll never
See me through
Perfectly parallel lines
