My homework, which I assigned to myself, the way kids do sometimes, consisted of hobbling around my room in a witch hat, practicing spells on my shoes.
If I had to take a shit that meant I had to go downstairs. I didn’t have a specific aversion to leaving the attic— I just never felt like getting out of bed. Also, the second floor toilet got clogged
In my favorite bookstore in a city where I no longer live, there’s a sign for sale that says: when in doubt, turn left. I don’t remember the name of the gym where I spent my adolescence, but I could
In the spring of 1989 an asteroid the size of the Empire State Building crossed Earth’s orbit.
It happened at a small party I’d planned at a nightclub in the meatpacking district.
From The Happiest Place On Earth
The door is open, I said, just come in.
Liz and I sit up with a start.
An envelope with my name on it, xoxo.
We met in the pathology suite ––me the medical student––you the corpse.
The first thing I realized was that my legs weren’t broken.
I flipped on the lights, turned up the furnace, and cranked some Stevie Wonder.
Ours was a world that devised its own sense.
There was still nailpolish on her toes and fingers.
“You’re crafty and wise,” the quiz’s benevolent gods tell me.
Tortellini becomes my password for everything.
It’s Saturday night, and I am cleaning the kitchen because it’s easier than cleaning up my life; I am putting away dishes because I know where dishes go. I do not know where to put other things:
What do you get when you mix and elephant with a rhino?
Elephino.
That joke has always held a special place with me. I first heard it back in prime time when the American Broadcasting Company
“You are cursed,” my Dida said, solidifying the bells of mortality that were ringing.
“Ki?” I responded, my eyes wide with fear and panic.
“There is a beauty mark here inside you. It means you are cursed with sexiness.”
Love is like a museum. You have to look around, experience things, and then leave.
Garielle's longest, most peculiar, most particularized book. A sure-to-be collector's item. Delivery 4-6 weeks!
"Is this the actual diary you wrote at the time? The diary reads a lot like a novel, with its motifs of the murderess, the acupuncturist, etc." -Garielle Lutz, author of Worsted and The Complete Gary Lutz
