Everyone is fucking me on the internet

It is a gift / to be alone in this world / together with everyone / and everything / we’ve ever loved 

There is a War between Words and Things. Armies are on opposite sides of a River called Speech

I don’t care about writing anymore this is stupid / I don’t care anymore about this shit / They were like umm but doesn’t this mean so much to you / I said no

It’s evening already / and the vibes are so off / it isn’t even funny. 

Days of Vagrant Youth  

We sit around drinking poison 
that’ll give half of us  
cancer  
             and the other, madness, 
mistaking ill euphoria for 
wisdom of the moment.  

We’re

Your soul, yes, bright as a star in a blackened sea-sky. Something to admire from a cliff,
impossible to hold. 

look at me and how I just / sit around and fucking pout

Spirals in the / Sky spray out eight billion cassette tapes / So anyone on any other planet might wit / Just how thin earthly love has withered.

I am trying to love the crook in my back.

The house’s cracked smile
hides behind spines of oak trees.

I have developed an awareness / Of my need to perform this fervor  / And what I thought was fear / Turned out to be excitement.  

i tell them of the violences endured / & how i began working here at 17. / five days later: no longer able to speak, / nor walk, frozen in stillness.

burrowed in my
fear like I was making a home of it.

Open Windows
A Contrapuntal

The heat                                                                 here in Texas
is such to close                                     the heart and the rain; let

She was meditating with me / And eventually she was gone licked up by the surf / On a personal level, expressed in a fiction / That was the breadth of my loving and no thing more 

These untamed wild horses galloping inside these Trojan hearts / Like that beach that one summer / This one summer, it is all we get  
/ Slipping through our fingers like the sands of Ios where Homer lay in dust 

I loved you better as a vague notion. Better / as an uncountable thing. Better /
as an assembly of dog treats.

I grass-skied down the camp hill in my non-specialist shoes, drifted into the icy endzone with the kids,

When a bikini-clad granny cracks aces / At Virtual Poker  / The Avatar Dealer, / A flickering PAWG, / Winces or winks  

I'll say the metformin must be working. You'll tell me to message my doctor, ask about upping the dose.

ration the rest of the smoke, / spend hours tracing maps / to find the pub marquee 

You are new ink that will not dry.

But there, hand gripping faucet / It spoke in a language held only in the body

Why am I being so transactional?
Why am I being so weak?     
Why am I talking to strange men online?